Month: December 2014

That Man Has Never Told A Joke In His Life and People Think He Is Funny!!!

Monday am. Rain all week? Life is good. These burritos have caramelized onions or junk that is so bad when microwaved smells faintly so. Funny tale to tell. Uncle has a nose and a pallate. Remember he is a sensor as Myers Briggs calls it and buries the needle when comes to processing iknfo through senses. Dumb uneducated people speculated once that Uncle was really an alien recognossaince unit in human form! That is because they are dumb. Anyway not long ago Uncle was active in wine business in which you smell stuff and taste stuff and talk a lot about them. Wine business has something nobody ever talks about except one man did Robert Parker. Wine and booze business is a branch of drug industry. Illegal and legal drugs! Historically and domestically or globally it has a dirty secret. Parker goes on but nobody else ever heard of it. Something that nobody in any level or aspect of industry is free from exactly like drug business. The dirty secret is called “fraud.” Wine is fraud. Wine is a scam. Wine is lies. Wine is nothing but telling people and not true! That exists. The stuff that the business is about are there but also has such a huge margin for faking things by all involved! Being subjective is nature of wine. Make a long story short Uncle naturally would be the last person wanted around in such a bit and everyone tried to get rid of him. Those who know Uncle beyond food and beverage criticism told of him as Inspector General. That is an old Danny Kaye movie. Inspector General has orders from the French Emperor to visit cities towns and villages in disguise and look for all kinds of corruption and then hang them all! That is Uncle without food and beverage training?! Here is the funny joke…

Uncle used to fly to LA every week once for his sommelier classes and the City liked him so much they pursued his every step with care and attention! They also were very interested in his progress! In this case for instance they passed word to Uncle’s instructors to make sure Uncle knows only persons of white European appearances were to be successful in San Francisco and training would not change the will of the City! Before they get full blame these mandates comes from the city rich who paid city hall. They make laws and inform the city and this specific one comes from British Government. They have a strict policy against Uncle being a successful anything in America. At least French would tell Uncle they would try assassinate him if to be successful on the grounds “you are NOT French!” if Uncle to be a public success but Brits are dirty and think San Francisco is part of England so British policy must prevail. That is a long story but you know why NSA has so much faith or had. They get support all the way from the Crown! Sabotage his education. Sabotage his job. Sabotage his photography. Sabotage wine stuff. Anything that can go ding I know that guy he is in wine business right or oh yeah he is a photographer had to be stopped. Uncle has sponsors. British are very afraid of that. Uncle gets on any stage and be a Headliner overnight and somehow bad times begins for all things European! Anyway now comes the funny part… So much politics and attacks in these joke s… Fuxking high school graduates read my works…

One of the things a bunch of innocent people at City Hall had to do was deal with Uncle firsthand. When those bad government people take over a place they tell them you you and you are dirty so fuck off and you and you are allowed to deal with this. And these poor people come back after a week and say my God that Uncle guy is worse than all the criminals working for City Hall! How can this be fixed or that fixed? Good point. So one thing that came up was this business of ruining Uncle’s education and career because rich told dirty city people only white European persons may be front office famous in this City. Liquor people call San Francisco a “white city” as in clear booze sells a lot but we may say that is more of a political complement somebody is doing the job they get paid for under the table to keep it white! Here is the funny part finally….????

Birds tell the people at this sommelier association (not even the one Uncle was in in LA) are called by these desperate city folk trying to fix and told they have to give Uncle his diploma! That is so funny! Again you are illiterate so would not get it! The after joke is those guys are telling each other “but if we give him his pilot license he can fly the plane and what about the passengers?” Welcome to the realm off politics! Irrational? They call Uncle that! Politics is irrational before gets even dirty or Progressive (don’t forget who made this one before politicians steal it and nobody remembers the original Progressive! Lol! American culture demands it be stolen before acknowledged as a valuable! Hence we wait it be soon Uncle says WTF I made that term you motherfuckers stole my thing! Isn’t America Great? Works like a clockwork. Greatness is. Piss on your concept of Greatness.) Anyway the point is… Everything can be funny once changed from its natural form if you know what that is so somebody slips and falls we laugh! The natural form is stand and somehow they not! Again not a high school topic. True that Uncle has much training and most of education required but flying airplanes especially filled with passengers who sleep and read stuff in peace requires practical skills. Skills develop and develop and develop as we practice experience and experience and one day they check and say aha you are one of us here is a diploma to prove it. Or its can be done irrationally by handing a person a diploma and may be someday skills are there too! Lol! That is when naive troubleshooters fix things OR this is how politics doees it. Uncle needs to be back where he gets to taste and smell and talk a lot of wines and in a few months they throw diplomas at him to show he is an Expert and believe it or not those who are good run from them diplomas too. Business people don’t like educated people. Half educated and half talk is how business likes them. Man that was a good joke… Now some may say Uncle has no sense of humor and everything he says is serious and people think he is funny… Gave you a good definition for humor… Uncle twists and moves things around when analyzing hence deviates from natural order and people perceive humor! Not!